I can honestly admit that my downfall with men was… I used to believe them…lol. I can honestly sit here and say I was gullible. I just could not wrap my mind around the fact men, say whatever. I could not wrap my mind around the fact a guy would get your number just because. I could not wrap my mind around the fact a man would lie about having a girlfriend just because he formulate the sentence. I was in denial about men playing games just as much, and if not better than women. I just didn’t understand it all…lol. I would trust any and every man, because I didn’t know any better…lol.
I was a late bloomer, I can admit that. I had little boyfriends, and all that, but I knew nothing about men. I had my first sexually "experience" (meaning not actually intercourse, but other things...don't judge me...lol) with my second fiancé the Marine. I was 18 when I met the Marine, he was soooo charming. I met him right after I got out of a weird relationship with some guy I can’t even remember his name…lol. I was just starting to break out of my tomboy phase. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had cut my hair off, and gotten my eyebrows arched for the first time, and bought some parcusco jeans, (and ya’ll couldn’t tell me I wasn’t cute!). The Marine walked into the store I was working at… all I saw was a bright smile, then I saw the uniform. Can we say GOODGOOGELYMOOGELY!!! He didn’t say much at first, he introduced his self to me and kissed my hand. NOW… I had never in my life been, or done anything girly, but when he kissed my hand, I went into a fit of giggles…lol, and I tried to control it by covering my mouth, but it didn’t help…lol. After that he left… he didn’t ask for my phone number or anything :(. Five minutes later he came running back in the store and he says “I forgot something when I left.” Me being stupid says “What? Did you leave your keys somewhere in here?” The Marine falls out laughing at me, I was standing there thinking “what was so funny about that?” He takes my hand and says “No sweetie, I forgot to ask you for you number.” I kid you not by the time was finished saying the word number, I was done writing it down for him…lol.
The Marine and I were all about each other morning, noon, and night. When the Marine found out I was still a virgin… I was scared out of my mind, the Marine on the other hand looked like he just won the Lotto…lol. The Marine decided then and there he wasn’t going to touch me until he married me. I didn’t think he was serious until he proposed...lol. The Marine and I broke up a few times, due to him making all the decisions about the relationship. The Marine was stationed in Japan for 2 years of our relationship, I was cool about it. He called regularly I was fine with that, just hearing his voice made me happy. I never even looked at another man during the time the Marine was gone. I must admit the Marine was one man that had me open…lol. The year the Marine came back to the U.S. he was stationed in California. The Marine would come to the DMV every weekend. I was so happy about it!!!!
The Marine and I broke up for good when he slipped up and admitted he cheated on me. Sigh. This was another one of those case I didn’t understand men. The Marine, refused to have sex with me, he made sure he was never felt alone with me…lol. I even attacked him in his truck one day, and he calmly got out his truck and started jogging around the block. I sat in his truck confused and amused all at once. I just didn’t understand if he wanted to have sex… why not with me, why not the one that loved him so much? He did it just because, or in his word “I don’t know why I did it.” I handed him his ring back, and went to cry on my mothers' shoulder.
The statements "I don't know" and "I dunno" makes me feeling like I am hearing finger nails scratching a chalk board every time I hear a man say that. through the many countless time I have heard those statements, I have pretty much become numb to it. If I heard a man say "I don't know" or "I dunno", the first thought that pops into my mind, is "he's an idoit!", but more recently my thoughts have been "OH NINJA YOU KNOW, YOU AINT GOTTA LIE!!!". I personally think it is a good and bad thing that I don't believe jack men tell me, at the same time I think it would be really nice to have faith in a man for once.***shrug*** oh wells...lol.
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