Sooo.. I have a lil yellow angel in my life. Nothing romantic, more like encouraging ... For the past few weeks I have been trying to figure out who this young man reminds me of... Looks wise and personality wise... And then it hit me. He reminds me of this guy I used to know name Justin.
Justin and I met through a mutual friend, and didn't know it at the time. We met again... My memory is fuzzy on that front... It may have been black planet... Not sure. But low and behold it I had made a new friend. Justin and I talked on the phone alot and I do mean alot... If we weren't of the phone we were on AIM chatting, we had what I like to call a "goofy" friendship because we laughed all day and everyday at each other. So one day Justin asked me out on a date and I obliged. Justin agreed to pick me up from work, and take me to dinner. One of my co-workers was standing front of the store, and she came running to the back where I was and told me he sees a cute guy that she is going to make me future boyfriend (she was random like that...lol) so I walk to the front and there Justin is just as cute as he wants to be . My co-worker was excited whispering "that's him, that's him", I decided to toy with her and say "oh wow he is cute, I am going to ask him for a hug" so I walk up to him and give him a hug...lol. My co worker is floored by then...lol Justin asked me "why did her eyes just get so big" I couldn't hold in my laughter anymore so I bursted out laughing. I told him I would be right back and so I could grab my coat and purse. My coworker followed right behind me asking if he had a single brother, or sister *side eye* (she swings that way...lol). Justin and I went to dinner, during dinner I managed to trip walking into the restaurant, drop all my silverware on the floor, and hit my glass on my teeth... Sigh. I would get really, really clumsy when I was nervous around someone I liked (that goodness I grew out of that…well.. sort of) Anywho. Justin and I had his sort of “connection” that only he and I could understand. Oh and did I mention Justin had a girlfriend?
Apparently Justin and The Girlfriend were on a break. The Girlfriend was at the point where they had been together since high school and college, and she wanted to get engaged, married, or something. I think that scared Justin, because he told me he just wasn’t ready for that. I could tell Justin was very torn about his feelings, because he went back and fourth about it. Justin and I would always talk about if he and I should remain friends, or not, because he was starting to develop those “more than just friends” feelings. We both came to a mutual decision that we would be nothing more that friends. Meaning no more kissing. Sigh. Lol.
I used to dabble in interior decorating, so Justin asked me if I could do his apartment since he love, the look and feel of my apartment. I jumped on that chance since that is something I loved to do. This all took place around the time when the IKEA opened in college park. Justin and I spent about 3 hours it the freakin IKEA, two hours looking around and playing, and one hour lost and trying to get out…lol. It was a mess. Justin and I finally escaped the Bermuda Triangle known as the IKEA, and decided to go to dinner.
Justin and I go to the little Mexican restaurant in Greenbelt, somewhere, I had never been. The waiter takes our drink order, I order a ginger ale, and Justin ordered a Margarita on the rocks. During those days I didn’t drink at all. The waiter brings out of drinks and this was my first time ever seeing a schooner. The waiter takes our food order and Justin slides his drink in front of me, and I laugh and shake my head no. Justin then laughs and tells me “you are going to have to help me with this.” Justin then asked “Is it that you don’t like Margaritas?” I tell Justin “I don’t know. I don’t drink.” Justin looked as if he couldn’t believe his ears. Justin told me to taste the drink, to my surprise I liked it, and I liked it alot…lol. Justin and I ate, talked, and laughed. As we were leaving the restaurant Justin told me that I had to try Alize. I said “Okay.” Heck he was right about the Margarita being delish, why not try this Alize stuff. Off to the liquor store we went. LMBO! After the liquor store we headed back to his place. So there we were watching to movie “Two Can Play That Game” and drinking Alize aka Fruit Punch with a Punch. I was just downing my drinks, because I didn’t feel any affects. Or so I thought. 15 minutes later I was knocked out, it was like that best sleep ever….lol.
As I laid there sleeping I thought that I was dreaming that I Justin was kissing me. It wasn’t a dream. Justin and I crossed a line that night. Soon after Justin and I both were awakened by Justin’s phone ringing non-stop. I tell him it ok if he wanted to answer it I knew it was The Girlfriend. I went into the bathroom to get dressed. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and thinking “I will never drink again!” I felt guilty, I know that Justin and The Girlfriend were on a break, I still felt really guilty. My thoughts and I were interrupting by a knock at the door from Justin. I opened the door Justin stood there looking somewhat frantic. “She is on her way here, and she is will be here soon!”, he said somewhat scared. I just stood there looking at him. I was stuck there, no way to get home, no bus or metro no where near his house, and he drove. He went back into his bedroom, and I walked out the door. I pull out my cell phone to call a cab, and of course the battery died, my mind was blank, I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or what I felt nothing as I walked down the street.
I found myself in a park sitting on a bench. I sat in the park for about ten minutes, and then Justin ran up. I watched him try to catch his breath he then says “Tiff why did you leave like that, she is gone now. I have been trying to call you.”, tears came out of my eyes and I tell him “My phone died so I couldn’t call a cab, and I was looking for a Metro or something.” Justin hugged me, and we walked back to his apartment. The car ride to my house was silent. He parked in front of my building. I reached to open the door, and then Justin said my name. I froze. Justin took me hand in his and said “I am so sorry.” I leaned back in my see and looked at him, Justin went on to tell me that he cares about me very much, and then he can’t believe his actions caused me to cry. Justin also explained that he was very confused about his feelings, and as much as he wanted to be my friend, he just didn’t know how to do that. I told Justin that I am okay, and that he was right, we couldn’t be “just friends” . We hugging and that was the last time I saw or heard from Justin. I heard last year that Justin and The Girl Friend we engaged, and living together. I am happy for Justin, I don’t think he was “one of those guys”, I think his feelings about me were genuine, but it was just another case of bad timing.