Where have you been? Are you going to blog again ...lol. I took a little break. I do have alot to write about, but I will be taking baby steps.
My aunt lost her husband recently, suddenly, and quickly. I heard her yell out in pain, I sat and watched a woman's heart break. There was nothing I could do to stop her pain, it broke my heart to watch her. I watched a few tear drops fall. She tried to breath life back into her husband, but he was gone. I watched my aunt be strong. I love her so much. I got my dimples from this woman, but I haven't seen her normal smile lately. My aunt is a busy body, and shop alcoholic... lol I hope she remains that way. Will she ever be the same? I am not mad. Should I be? God needed a new angel. That puts my sadness at ease.
I have been with my family. I don't normally spend alot of time with them, I don't know why. My world just doesn't seem normal anymore. Everything feels somewhat like a dream. I feel disconnected from somethings. I am finding my passion for things again, I am finding my inspiration to write again. I am just waiting to feel like me again.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I was gonna name him Cat Daddy but I opted for ....
Granddad!!!! I went on a "date" last night with Granddad. If you remember my blog/rant about men giving out cards... welp he was the one that yelled at me as I was going down the staircase...lol. Yup I called him.
So we were supposed to go out this Monday, but I canceled because I was sick as a dog. He was really understanding. He evened called to see if I needed anything. Awwwwwww....lol. So we rescheduled for Saturday. Yup the day of the Cowboys game...lol. SO. I called him Saturday, and he told me he wanted to watch the game, I asked him "do you want to see me before the game then?", and he told me "Oh no, you are coming with me." WORD!?!?! LMBO! I guess he realized that he sounded bossy, "oh man I wasn't trying to stay you had to, if you want to do something else we can." LOL! I told him it was fine, this man is too funny.
So he was was late, then i was late then we finally got ourselves together...lol. So I get in the car, and then he tells me we are go anywhere since we missed the beginning of the game. Cool with me... until....
Just fast forward the 3:40
minus the coupon.
I could have died laughing then and there!!! The sad part is, while I was waiting him to pick me up their commercial came on, and I thought to myself "I could really go for some cheddar biscuits." LMBO!
We get the restaurant and I tell him we can sit at the bar to watch the game. He looked at me like he was in love...lol. So we sit at the bar, he does most of the talking which I don't really mind, he is a very interesting person. I think I was in the game more than him...lol, he didn't seem to mind. I notice two chicks get across the bar kept eyeing him. Oh really tricks? It made me laugh. I went to the restroom and came back, and he was having a conversation with group of people that was sitting at the bar. "Awww he is cute." I thought to myself ...lol.
Overall I enjoyed myself. The two tricks kept trying to get his attention, all I have to say about that is, they are lucky I am saved. *blank stare* But yeah, I had fun with him. He was a complete gentleman. I honestly don't see anything happening with him. Not because of his age. I just know he isn't looking for anything serious. I would hang out with him again, he has already told me that, that was going to be the first of many dates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we shall see. Lol.
I guess I should reveal his age now... he is.... ***drum roll*** 50.
So we were supposed to go out this Monday, but I canceled because I was sick as a dog. He was really understanding. He evened called to see if I needed anything. Awwwwwww....lol. So we rescheduled for Saturday. Yup the day of the Cowboys game...lol. SO. I called him Saturday, and he told me he wanted to watch the game, I asked him "do you want to see me before the game then?", and he told me "Oh no, you are coming with me." WORD!?!?! LMBO! I guess he realized that he sounded bossy, "oh man I wasn't trying to stay you had to, if you want to do something else we can." LOL! I told him it was fine, this man is too funny.
So he was was late, then i was late then we finally got ourselves together...lol. So I get in the car, and then he tells me we are go anywhere since we missed the beginning of the game. Cool with me... until....
Just fast forward the 3:40
minus the coupon.
I could have died laughing then and there!!! The sad part is, while I was waiting him to pick me up their commercial came on, and I thought to myself "I could really go for some cheddar biscuits." LMBO!
We get the restaurant and I tell him we can sit at the bar to watch the game. He looked at me like he was in love...lol. So we sit at the bar, he does most of the talking which I don't really mind, he is a very interesting person. I think I was in the game more than him...lol, he didn't seem to mind. I notice two chicks get across the bar kept eyeing him. Oh really tricks? It made me laugh. I went to the restroom and came back, and he was having a conversation with group of people that was sitting at the bar. "Awww he is cute." I thought to myself ...lol.
Overall I enjoyed myself. The two tricks kept trying to get his attention, all I have to say about that is, they are lucky I am saved. *blank stare* But yeah, I had fun with him. He was a complete gentleman. I honestly don't see anything happening with him. Not because of his age. I just know he isn't looking for anything serious. I would hang out with him again, he has already told me that, that was going to be the first of many dates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we shall see. Lol.
I guess I should reveal his age now... he is.... ***drum roll*** 50.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Pastor Pimpin'
If you are friends with me via facebook or twitter, you may have heard me mention the guy I have dubbed "Pastor Pimpin". Pastor Pimpin is a guy I when to school with, who is now a pastor. The "pimpin" comes in to play, due to him giving off the "playa, playa vibe". *blank stare*
Pastor Pimpin isn't really a bad guy, and no I am not saying that because he is a pastor. He has some good moments with me. Pastor Pimpin has this thing where he thinks he is sexy or something. *blank stare*, he is a big guy, not to say that big are sexy, because there some very sexy ones out there ***flirt, flirt, wink, wink*** it's just that Pastor Pimpin' isn't one of them.
It all started via Facebook, he would send me messages asking, "when are you going to let me take you out?", I would tell him "wouldn't you have to ask me first?". This is a typical converstation between us. Then I remember the night of the Inguaration he calls me asking what I was doing, I tell him I had to work that night. Pastor Pimpin' then tell me "Yeah, you know I wanted to see what you were doing cause I am with some of my boys, and I want to see if you could get some of your girls so we could all go hang out." OKAY DIDDY!!! For some reason that got me in a bad mood... I told him "sorry, but I am working all night."(which was true) then Pastor Pimpin' tells me "Well, okay, you know you can call me sometimes." Sigh. I tell him "Oh. Okay. Thats good to know. Well, I have to go talk to you later. Bye."
Pastor Pimpin continued to keep in contact with me via Facebook , and asked to take me out for breakfast one day. I said yes, I mean whats the worst that could happen? So we go out to breakfast one Saturday morning, it was cool. Pastor Pimpin' told me about his health issues, and why he gained so much weight, he told me about he church, and other things. I have to admit I enjoyed myself. Pastor Pimpin took me home, we said our goodbyes, and that was it. I thought to myself now that wasn't so bad. Maybe, just maybe I was too hard on him.... until I got a phone call from him. Sigh. Pastor Pimpin' called and asked
PP: "hey what are you doing?"
ME: "nothing much sitting here reading a book."
PP: "You know it would have been nice of you to invite me in."
ME: "Ummm... why would I have invited you in?"
PP: "You know we could have watched some movies or something."
ME: "I don't really have men in my apartment like."
PP: "But I am not just any man."
ME: "But you are a man."
PP: "You know I wouldn't try anything, I just thought it would have been nice to spend more time with you."
ME: "Well, maybe next time. But, I am about to do some cleaning, I will talk to you later."
See Pastor Pimpin just had to mess it up...lol.
Pastor Pimpin recently sent me a message on Facebook, asking if I could help him with some ideas for his church. Sigh. I agreed. Pray for me ya'll!
Pastor Pimpin isn't really a bad guy, and no I am not saying that because he is a pastor. He has some good moments with me. Pastor Pimpin has this thing where he thinks he is sexy or something. *blank stare*, he is a big guy, not to say that big are sexy, because there some very sexy ones out there ***flirt, flirt, wink, wink*** it's just that Pastor Pimpin' isn't one of them.
It all started via Facebook, he would send me messages asking, "when are you going to let me take you out?", I would tell him "wouldn't you have to ask me first?". This is a typical converstation between us. Then I remember the night of the Inguaration he calls me asking what I was doing, I tell him I had to work that night. Pastor Pimpin' then tell me "Yeah, you know I wanted to see what you were doing cause I am with some of my boys, and I want to see if you could get some of your girls so we could all go hang out." OKAY DIDDY!!! For some reason that got me in a bad mood... I told him "sorry, but I am working all night."(which was true) then Pastor Pimpin' tells me "Well, okay, you know you can call me sometimes." Sigh. I tell him "Oh. Okay. Thats good to know. Well, I have to go talk to you later. Bye."
Pastor Pimpin continued to keep in contact with me via Facebook , and asked to take me out for breakfast one day. I said yes, I mean whats the worst that could happen? So we go out to breakfast one Saturday morning, it was cool. Pastor Pimpin' told me about his health issues, and why he gained so much weight, he told me about he church, and other things. I have to admit I enjoyed myself. Pastor Pimpin took me home, we said our goodbyes, and that was it. I thought to myself now that wasn't so bad. Maybe, just maybe I was too hard on him.... until I got a phone call from him. Sigh. Pastor Pimpin' called and asked
PP: "hey what are you doing?"
ME: "nothing much sitting here reading a book."
PP: "You know it would have been nice of you to invite me in."
ME: "Ummm... why would I have invited you in?"
PP: "You know we could have watched some movies or something."
ME: "I don't really have men in my apartment like."
PP: "But I am not just any man."
ME: "But you are a man."
PP: "You know I wouldn't try anything, I just thought it would have been nice to spend more time with you."
ME: "Well, maybe next time. But, I am about to do some cleaning, I will talk to you later."
See Pastor Pimpin just had to mess it up...lol.
Pastor Pimpin recently sent me a message on Facebook, asking if I could help him with some ideas for his church. Sigh. I agreed. Pray for me ya'll!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Darell Montgomery Part 3 Meet You In My Dreams
More of the love story alrighty... Darrell and I broke up for about a month... lol. We got right back together again. That following year we were good. Life was good. My mother had finally gotten rid of the devil, at the expense of me having a nervous breakdown, police getting involved, and the courts...sigh.
Freaky Friday
Everything was somewhat peaceful... but nothing too good last forever. My mother got sick. Great. Just great. My mother was suffering from depression, she slept a lot, couldn't hold her food down, it was a mess. I was now the mother. Darrell stood by me through this. Love in it's purest form.
Goodbye
My mother sat me down one day, and told me that we were moving to DC. I couldn't say anything to her. I when straight to Darrell's house and told him. Darrell told me that he knew something like this would happen. My mother did something unexpected, she let Darrell sleep over. Now don't get any ideas she through out a few threats and curse words, but sex was the furthest thing from our... well my mind at the time.
We spent the night talking... hugging, laughing, and no crying was allowed. We talked about the long distance thing. We talked about the realities of doing the long distance thing. We talked about us together. We talked about us apart. We fell asleep know one thing we loved each other very much.
The next morning my mother and I packed up and left for D.C.
Keeping in Touch
Darrell and I kept in touch through the years. No matter what we found each other again. Darrell really was my best friend. Darrell would always tell me if I went to sleep thinking about him, and he would go to bed thinking about me, that we would meet each other in our dreams.
Freaky Friday
Everything was somewhat peaceful... but nothing too good last forever. My mother got sick. Great. Just great. My mother was suffering from depression, she slept a lot, couldn't hold her food down, it was a mess. I was now the mother. Darrell stood by me through this. Love in it's purest form.
Goodbye
My mother sat me down one day, and told me that we were moving to DC. I couldn't say anything to her. I when straight to Darrell's house and told him. Darrell told me that he knew something like this would happen. My mother did something unexpected, she let Darrell sleep over. Now don't get any ideas she through out a few threats and curse words, but sex was the furthest thing from our... well my mind at the time.
We spent the night talking... hugging, laughing, and no crying was allowed. We talked about the long distance thing. We talked about the realities of doing the long distance thing. We talked about us together. We talked about us apart. We fell asleep know one thing we loved each other very much.
The next morning my mother and I packed up and left for D.C.
Keeping in Touch
Darrell and I kept in touch through the years. No matter what we found each other again. Darrell really was my best friend. Darrell would always tell me if I went to sleep thinking about him, and he would go to bed thinking about me, that we would meet each other in our dreams.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
My 2009 Reflections... I might be updating this as the day goes...
So much has happened in the past 365 days. Some good, some bad, and some life changing.
Family
Without a doubt I really do love my family. My sister and I have grown closer. I have tried my best to keep remembering I have a father, as awful as it may sound to you, it is my truth. My mother… well I do enjoy talking to her over the phone, at times I find myself missing her. I know my mother misses me, but right now I feel that we are doing better apart. ”Time heals all wounds.”
My uncles, aunts, and cousins, I love them all. My best ’09 moment was when I invited my grandmother to my baptism, and she surprised me by bringing the whole family with her. I looked out in the crowed I saw all of them, I was so over come with emotions, it took everything in me not to cry.
Religion
I am an awesome work in progress!!!!! What more can I say?
Friends
Lost some, gained some, saw some in a different light, and some lost the title and have been now classified as “I know this guy/girl”. I have learned something from each of you all, so thanks.
Love
Nothing much going on in that department…lol. I am still holding out on hope that I will blessed enough to be in love again. Praying for patients.
Tiffany Moment
Honestly I don’t understand why people have hope that I new year will bring new change. What would happen if people had such expectations everyday of there lives. Like when people say “Next year I will work on getting out of debt.” Why not say “today I will start working on getting out of debt.” Maybe that’s just me…*shrug*. On the other hand if this helps you reach your goals, then okay… I wish you the best.
Family
Without a doubt I really do love my family. My sister and I have grown closer. I have tried my best to keep remembering I have a father, as awful as it may sound to you, it is my truth. My mother… well I do enjoy talking to her over the phone, at times I find myself missing her. I know my mother misses me, but right now I feel that we are doing better apart. ”Time heals all wounds.”
My uncles, aunts, and cousins, I love them all. My best ’09 moment was when I invited my grandmother to my baptism, and she surprised me by bringing the whole family with her. I looked out in the crowed I saw all of them, I was so over come with emotions, it took everything in me not to cry.
Religion
I am an awesome work in progress!!!!! What more can I say?
Friends
Lost some, gained some, saw some in a different light, and some lost the title and have been now classified as “I know this guy/girl”. I have learned something from each of you all, so thanks.
Love
Nothing much going on in that department…lol. I am still holding out on hope that I will blessed enough to be in love again. Praying for patients.
Tiffany Moment
Honestly I don’t understand why people have hope that I new year will bring new change. What would happen if people had such expectations everyday of there lives. Like when people say “Next year I will work on getting out of debt.” Why not say “today I will start working on getting out of debt.” Maybe that’s just me…*shrug*. On the other hand if this helps you reach your goals, then okay… I wish you the best.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Darrell Montgomery Part 2 my boyfriend, my bestfriend
2nd part of the love story folks... it is hard to figure out what parts I should put in and leave out... I think I will be ending this with either a 3rd, or 4th part. Not sure yet. So many memories....
Darrell became my boyfriend shortly after we met. He asked me over the phone to be his girlfriend ... lol. Darrell is one person that truly made me feel special. He always held my hand, and I let him. I wasn't one for PDA back then...lol. Darrell ended up moving with his father to be closer to me. That touched me in a way I had never felt before in my life. I was so happy.
Our secret
Darrell met my, and mother she liked him, which was rare...lol. My mother's boyfriend didn't care for Darrell too much, and Darrell felt the same way about him. Darrell and I were always together. Darrell would meet me at the bus stop when I got home from school, I would go watch him at football practice. We were inseparable. Then one day Darrell disappeared. A week he was gone, I didn't know what to do. Tiffany J. explained to me Darrell had moved back to his mother house. I was shocked, I cry for two day straight. He left without say goodbye, or anything. Tiffany J. assured me he would call. Two weeks later I got the call. Darrell kept repeatedly telling him that "he just had to go, he just had to go." I cried. Darrell cried. Darrell didn't want to tell me why. Then he said the words that change everything between us. "I left because he father hits me." We both cried for a few more minutes I then told him "he mother’s boyfriend hits me too". Darrell got angry, and told me his was coming back.
Our Bond
Darrell came back, and came straight over my house we sat on the couch and hugged in silence for some hours. Darrell told me he loved me for the first time that day. I told him that he was my best friend and that I loved him too. I told Darrell if he needed to leave again I would understand. Darrell told me he wouldn't leave me again. Darrell saved my life, I thank God for placing him in my life. Darrell was my first love, Darrell was the first person to ever make me feel loved. Darrell made me feel safe. For the first time in my life I left safe. I could breathe.
Some people may have heard me say that Darrell saved my life. I believe that statement with all my heart. I don't know how I could have gone through so must abuse without Darrell. Before Darrell the abuse had become bigger than my faith in God. I felt my spirit disappear. I would walk around as a shell of a person. I would question God why was I going through this? Why was anyone my age going through this? With every new bruised on my skin, I wanted it to end, I mean I really wanted life to end. Then God place Darrell in my life. I found strength. I started to fight back against the evil 6'4 300 pound monster known as my mother’s boyfriend. I imagine being a fly on the wall watching a 6'3 300lb man in a no holds bar boxing match against a 90-100lb 5'0 girl, had to be a sight to see. Darrell told me to using any and everything I could get my hands on, and that I did.
Some may question, why Darrell didn't do anything... I asked him not to. Weird huh? Well this how that would have played out. If Darrell would have done something, I would not have been allowed to see him. That's just how my mother rolled then. Like when her boyfriend first put his hands on me he literally picked me up and threw me into the kitchen sink.Thats right a kitchen sink folks. He thought I was getting smart with him, when I was just trying to explain something to him...crackheads I tell ya. I ended up getting put on punishment for a month, for that *blank stare* ..smh.
Men... ya'll slay me...lol
I am currently still working on my blogs about Darrell, but as you can imagine it is a rather emotional topic, so I decided to lighten up a bit with this one.
So I have been running into some more interesting characters lately, and each one has me questioning "where they do that at?". What is this not so new trend of giving out business cards? Like I haven't gotten a card up until this point was 94' ... seriously. The first was in February at a party at some lounge that was at off of New York Ave. I looked at it and snickered...lol. Then last month I was in the cafe at work and a contractor with the A/V company gave he his card.... I was confused. Most recently I went to a Happy Hour with a new friend, and was we were going down the step to leave a older gentleman yelled down the steps at me, "excuse me, I couldn't let you leave without saying something to you!" I look up the staircase puzzled. The man told me "I don't want to disrespect your friend, but I think you are beautiful and have a beautiful spirit." Pause: I thought this guy was gay, now he didn't really do anything flamboyant, but I just thought that. I mean this is DC. *blank stare* Anywhoo I tell him "oh you are fine, he is just a friend on mine." he asked me to come upstair real quick. Why not *shrug*. I go upstairs, and he says "so he is just a friend of yours?" I say "yes, he is a married man." He hands me his card ...lol. The man then tells me "take this and use it, so we can hang out too, and I am not married...lol." Oh word! LOL.
Two things I have a problems with...
1. what if my friend was my "man", like you just going to come at me like that? lol.. yelling down a stairwell. 2. This one isn't so much the mans problem, but my own. I don't call... I know, I know... bad Tiffy, but I just don't. I didn't use to be that way... *shrug*. I just don't like calling anyone really. I really have to get over that.I'll call back, but I don't like calling...
I am too old fashion, I guess trying not to be so old fashion should be one of my new years resolutions *shrug*. I have been on a one woman quest in performing CPR on Chilvary because I don't want it to die.
So I have been running into some more interesting characters lately, and each one has me questioning "where they do that at?". What is this not so new trend of giving out business cards? Like I haven't gotten a card up until this point was 94' ... seriously. The first was in February at a party at some lounge that was at off of New York Ave. I looked at it and snickered...lol. Then last month I was in the cafe at work and a contractor with the A/V company gave he his card.... I was confused. Most recently I went to a Happy Hour with a new friend, and was we were going down the step to leave a older gentleman yelled down the steps at me, "excuse me, I couldn't let you leave without saying something to you!" I look up the staircase puzzled. The man told me "I don't want to disrespect your friend, but I think you are beautiful and have a beautiful spirit." Pause: I thought this guy was gay, now he didn't really do anything flamboyant, but I just thought that. I mean this is DC. *blank stare* Anywhoo I tell him "oh you are fine, he is just a friend on mine." he asked me to come upstair real quick. Why not *shrug*. I go upstairs, and he says "so he is just a friend of yours?" I say "yes, he is a married man." He hands me his card ...lol. The man then tells me "take this and use it, so we can hang out too, and I am not married...lol." Oh word! LOL.
Two things I have a problems with...
1. what if my friend was my "man", like you just going to come at me like that? lol.. yelling down a stairwell. 2. This one isn't so much the mans problem, but my own. I don't call... I know, I know... bad Tiffy, but I just don't. I didn't use to be that way... *shrug*. I just don't like calling anyone really. I really have to get over that.I'll call back, but I don't like calling...
I am too old fashion, I guess trying not to be so old fashion should be one of my new years resolutions *shrug*. I have been on a one woman quest in performing CPR on Chilvary because I don't want it to die.
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